That One Guy Who Was The Worst - Horror stories thread

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bitterpark

That One Guy Who Was The Worst - Horror stories thread

Postby bitterpark » Thu Sep 01, 2016 9:31 pm

Surprised this thread didn't exist already.

I think everyone who has played the nerd dice has had to deal with That Guy at some point. The guy who ruins everything and sucks the fun out of the game. He may be a big jerk, make inappropriate jokes or sexual advances either IC or OOC, make baffling decisions or ruin the group dynamic. It may be a player or a GM. It may be an arrogant egotist, or a player who's actually trying to have a good time with everyone and just failing miserably.

Either way, this thread is dedicated to bitching about Those Guys, because bitching is fun and cathartic.

I've been very lucky with GMs, but I have had some players who drove me up a wall.

There was this one kid, he was 15 or 16 or something, and that annoyed me, but being young is not a crime, I tried to be lenient and understanding and give him a chance.

The first warning bell was his character creation process. The players had more than two weeks to turn in their sheets, but he waited until the last second and tried to create his dude twenty minutes before the first session. Long story short, I made him sit out the first session and he only joined the next one, once he had rolled up properly and I had a chance to go over everything and check.

And good thing that I did, because he had managed to make a mistake in pretty much every aspect of it, from stats to skills to starting equipment cost and composition.

Once I'd held his hand through the whole thing, he managed to roll up a legit character and things got underway. Now, he couldn't roleplay his way out of an imaginary wet paper bag but, credit to the guy, he was always trying to think of the team and be nice to his teammates. He'd always be the nicest, most helpful guy in that regard, which was funny because the backstories he wrote always painted all his characters as the meanest, most brutal and desperate raiders and savages in the wasteland but whatever, if that's how he wanted to play then I'm fine with it.

But we were playing online, with Skype and Roll20, and he would always disrupt the session in some way. Sometimes he just had terrible audio static. A lot of the time his mic would broadcast background noises very loudly, and his only way of solving that was to try and not make those noises (and fail). Then there were times when we were interrupted by his mother charging into his room, SCREAMING BLOODY MURDER because he'd taken the family computer when he wasn't supposed to.

All of this was really trying my patience, but the last straw came when one day he started spontaneously broadcasting the local radio into Skype. We'd all be roleplaying, when suddenly ...PROGRESS HAS BEEN MADE IN FIXING THE SCHOOLS AND KINDERGARTENS BY THE MUNICIPAL AUTHORITIES, COMMENTED.... Not just background noise, this patched through and simply replaced his audio. And that would happen every 5 minutes or so, it was incredibly loud and immediately disrupted everything. He claimed his sound card was causing this, somehow, even though this hasn't been an issue for, like, twenty previous sessions and he didn't make any changes in hardware, this is something that just spontaneously developed.

In any case, it was really impossible to play like this, so I told him to deal with this or leave. I really didn't want to go hard on the kid, but that was just... something else.
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Kelerak

Re: That One Guy Who Was The Worst - Horror stories thread

Postby Kelerak » Thu Sep 01, 2016 9:59 pm

Kelerak wrote:So, after about 2-3 years since I last played a table-top game, I was invited to play Pathfinder with a group of people. I was kinda iffy on the idea at first, since I tend to more often than not take a backseat to everyone else's play due to personal anxiety issues, but I decided to give it a shot anyway. There ended up being four people in our merry band: an aasimar skald, a fetchling rogue (me), a dwarf cleric, and an elf brawler. Not sure if this party setup is such a great idea, but that's not really the point of this post.

Throughout the session, the elf tried to make the game all about him and making some dumb decisions along the way, such as threatening a guard captain and getting jailed for it, constantly making insults to the dwarf, belittling all of the other members, etc. He was trying to be the center of attention, so far as to interrupt other players when he wanted to take an action, and when we eventually got him to pipe down, he wasn't really invested with the game, so far as to just play Pokemon when it wasn't his turn. I have very little patience when it comes to people not co-operating with the team, and I'm sure even the DM was fed up with his actions, but nobody wanted to kick him out because we didn't want to create tension within the group. I didn't speak up, because as I said, I tend to be a background player and only really act when I'm told I can.


Kelerak wrote:It got to the point where that player was ejected from the group, as he was acting up and belittling everyone again. I'm not distraught by it, he didn't really contribute to the game as a whole and mostly served to waste everyone's time with his actions and left little room for everyone else.


I'm pretty sure this qualifies.
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Supahewok

Re: That One Guy Who Was The Worst - Horror stories thread

Postby Supahewok » Fri Sep 02, 2016 4:08 am

Hrm. There's a guy I'm currently playing with who might qualify, but hesitant to rant about anyone I'm currently in a game with, even anonymously.

There was a time I was a kid though, in the game my brother and I had with my dad growing up that we'd invite select nerdy friends to. It was the early days, I think I was 10 or 11, and I think my brother invited this kid who played D&D with his dad. This kid was... weird. He did all sorts of stupid shit. The thing I remember best was using his rogue to climb up grapple the head of an enemy ogre. No reason given, he wasn't even attacking the thing as it was pounding us. Really stands out in my mind as one of the worst sessions I've had, although in perspective it was probably rather mild given that we were all, you know, kids. We only got to play that game maybe two or three times a year though, birthdays and New Year's, so having one of those days ruined really stung. We never invited that kid back.

Only other such experiences (other than the current one which I'm not speaking of) were just newbies playing newbiely. Some guys, you sit them down to play D&D and explain to them their characters can try to do anything, they go "Oh, like Skyrim?" and you want to get into the game and it seems like a good enough analogy and respond, "sure, yeah, Skyrim. What do you want to do?" and they default to doing the stupid shit they do for laughs in games. Get hookers, stuff psychedelic mushrooms up their noses and light them, dick around with enemies rather than fight them, etc.

In hindsight, I should've stepped in, since the GM didn't and explain to them that D&D was a cooperative game, and that they should be working together with the party. Not sure if that'd help.

Oh, and there was the one guy we invited to a game, and he told us his character was going to be a lesbian succubus with laser tits who fed off of men's sexual energy/juices.

This was for Star Wars, I believe.

We didn't bother ever giving him the date of the session.
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bitterpark

Re: That One Guy Who Was The Worst - Horror stories thread

Postby bitterpark » Fri Sep 02, 2016 11:45 am

Supahewok wrote:Oh, and there was the one guy we invited to a game, and he told us his character was going to be a lesbian succubus with laser tits who fed off of men's sexual energy/juices.

This was for Star Wars, I believe.


Hey, maybe that's something in the Extended Universe, you never know.
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Supahewok

Re: That One Guy Who Was The Worst - Horror stories thread

Postby Supahewok » Sat Sep 03, 2016 1:44 am

bitterpark wrote:
Supahewok wrote:Oh, and there was the one guy we invited to a game, and he told us his character was going to be a lesbian succubus with laser tits who fed off of men's sexual energy/juices.

This was for Star Wars, I believe.


Hey, maybe that's something in the Extended Universe, you never know.

You know, sexually speaking, the EU is incredibly tame. There aren't sex scenes. There wasn't even an explicitly LGBT character until 2007. Star Wars throughout all the years has kept itself very strictly G-PG.

Star Wars fan-fic, on the other hand...
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Daemian Lucifer

Re: That One Guy Who Was The Worst - Horror stories thread

Postby Daemian Lucifer » Sat Sep 03, 2016 6:31 am

Supahewok wrote:Oh, and there was the one guy we invited to a game, and he told us his character was going to be a lesbian succubus with laser tits who fed off of men's sexual energy/juices.


Man,that would be so inconvenient for a succubus.Shed be reading something on the web,her eyes would glance to the side to read the ad "INCREASE YOUR PENIS SIZE" and FWOOOSH!!!! thered be two smoking holes in the monitor.
stomponator

Re: That One Guy Who Was The Worst - Horror stories thread

Postby stomponator » Wed Sep 14, 2016 1:05 pm

One of the many "That Guy"s was our StarWars D20 DM. His (heavily railroaded) adventures would always lead us on some fool's errand or other, where we would be ambushed by [random but extremely powerful sith lord] and his/her [obligatory high-level henchman/henchwoman] and getting our asses handed by them. When all the characters were incapacitated, the DM's own Character, a dual wielding badass jedi, came out of the woodwork to save the day. This happened three times at least.

Once, the sith damaged our ship and forced us to land on a nearby planet so he could face us in person. During the landing the groups mechanic managed to get the ship's weapons back online with a natual 20 mechanics roll, so when aforementioned sith got out of his own ship, my character gave him a taste of ye olde turbolaser and... critted. In the heated argument that followed, we convinced the DM that his NPC was nothing more than a bloody smear on the rocky ground. So naturally, his henchman appeared out of nowhere to kick our asses, wich ended, quite predictably, with the DM's character saving the day and getting lauded as a hero by the Jedi Council.

After the DM left, we laughed quite a while as we reflected the events of the evening, and we never bothered inviting him again.
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Kelerak

Re: That One Guy Who Was The Worst - Horror stories thread

Postby Kelerak » Wed Sep 14, 2016 6:39 pm

Kai Leng if he were the hero, it sounds like.

I wonder if that guy plays tabletop games by himself to continually develop his Sue and/or write fanfiction about him. It's amusing to think about, if not a bit sad.
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bitterpark

Re: That One Guy Who Was The Worst - Horror stories thread

Postby bitterpark » Wed Sep 14, 2016 8:01 pm

It's one of those things where you have to wonder how those kinds of GMs still exist, after everything that's been said about this "style" of mastery over the years and how much it's been criticized.
stomponator

Re: That One Guy Who Was The Worst - Horror stories thread

Postby stomponator » Thu Sep 15, 2016 9:42 am

Kelerak wrote:I wonder if that guy plays tabletop games by himself to continually develop his Sue and/or write fanfiction about him. It's amusing to think about, if not a bit sad.

We always suspected this. It is sad, but in those days, there was no pity in any of us. It was unkind laughter and snide remarks all the way.
Later he would get heavily into LARPing, going so far as to appear in school wearing his costume. I swear, I am not making this up. I clearly remember him strutting about the schoolyard, two swords strapped to his back. He miiiight not have looked as cool and intimidating as he was hoping he would. If smartphones were a thing back then, I suspect he would have gone viral in very short time.
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Kelerak

Re: That One Guy Who Was The Worst - Horror stories thread

Postby Kelerak » Thu Sep 15, 2016 4:20 pm

stomponator wrote:
Kelerak wrote:I wonder if that guy plays tabletop games by himself to continually develop his Sue and/or write fanfiction about him. It's amusing to think about, if not a bit sad.

We always suspected this. It is sad, but in those days, there was no pity in any of us. It was unkind laughter and snide remarks all the way.
Later he would get heavily into LARPing, going so far as to appear in school wearing his costume. I swear, I am not making this up. I clearly remember him strutting about the schoolyard, two swords strapped to his back. He miiiight not have looked as cool and intimidating as he was hoping he would. If smartphones were a thing back then, I suspect he would have gone viral in very short time.

I'm suddenly reminded of this.

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